31 - A Story (Part 7-9)

Part 7

The next morning when I woke up, a nurse was in my room, opening the curtain. She greeted me good morning. I smiled at her. After a long rain last night, the sky looks so clear today. I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I told the nurse that they don’t need to send in breakfast for me because I want to go to the cafeteria to get my breakfast. She nodded her head. I changed my clothes and took the handphone and put it in my pocket. I felt just fine on that morning. I wonder the weather at Bukit Tinggi will be as good as this.

I ordered my breakfast and took a sit by the window. There’s a garden outside the window with a fountain pond in the middle of it. I saw a group of children dressed in the patient’s clothes sitting around a nurse. The nurse must be telling them some interesting story from the book. I wonder what sickness those children have. It must be very painful for them for not getting the chance to play like any other children out there. The waiter has sent my breakfast over. I took the cup of coffee and before I could drink it, a hand came and pulled the cup away. It was Dr. Raj. He took the cup of coffee and sat in front of me. He said that it was best for me to not drink caffeinated drinks. This is to avoid sleep insomnia. What can I do? I was caught in action. I have to go back to the counter and order another drink.

Dr. Raj was dressed in a nice light green suit shirt and he had a big smile on his face. I asked him what had made him looks like a sunshine today? He laughed out quite loud and he said that his wife just gave birth to a baby girl this early morning. I looked at him with my wide eyes. I congratulated him. That was good news. He laughed again. He excused himself after that, telling me that he wants to deliver this good news to his other colleagues.

I took a sip at the juice that I’ve ordered. Listening to the good news that Dr. Raj had delivered to me, I was wondering myself whether I will have the chance to have my own children or not. If I ask my parents or Dr. Raj this question, they must be very upset about it. The time bomb in my brain may explode anytime. Even the doctor himself can’t promise me anything. I think I better keep it to myself. I took my time to finish up my breakfast. The sausages tasted a bit weird but I just ignore it. After finishing up my breakfast, I took a walk in the garden. I sat near the group of children I saw earlier. I was really curious about how they feel about all these. I sat there. Observing them.

The sun was getting high up in the sky and people were leaving the garden area because it’s very hot out here. I was going to do the same too when I felt my head aching in pain. I sat down for a while. I was thinking maybe it’s because of the hot weather that had made me this way. Then I slowly walked back into the hospital. When I was inside, I saw Ms. Wong, the nurse. I told her that I have headache. She asked me to wait awhile and later she came back with a wheel chair. She said she’d push me back to the room.

Oh, why must I depend on this thing to get back to my room? I felt so useless sitting on this thing. Ms. Wong holds my hand, guiding me to the chair. I just sat on it without saying anything. I knew that I myself have limit at this time. I just couldn’t walk anymore by myself. My head is too pain for me to focus on my walking. When I reached my room I said thank you to Ms. Wong. She said she’d bring some medicine for my headache. I sat on my bed and waited for the medicines.

After I took the medicines, I drifted off to sleep. I had a dream. I dreamt about my future. I have a pair of children, one boy and one girl. Isaac, my parents, Lavina, Lyn, Mike and Amy were there too. My children were running around and I have to chase after them. Everyone was very happy. Then I woke up from the dream. It was just a dream. How I wish that it was real. I covered my eyes with my hand, blocking the bright sun light. Then I turned around and pulled a photo from the drawer by my bedside. It was the family photo that I’ve told you all earlier. The one we took from Lyn’s graduation. I stared at the photo quite long. Then I put it back into the drawer. I sat up. Looking around. Trying to find something for myself to do. Then my handphone ring. It was Lyn. She called to ask about me. I told her that I’m doing fine alone here. I asked her not to worry about me. Then she said she will visit me after she finishes her work. I kissed her goodbye on the phone.

Lyn came that night with my parents and Lavina, and Mike. They brought some fruits for me. Lavina gave me a big hug. She said she missed me. She didn’t see me for about 3 days and she already miss me like this. If I am no longer in this world, how will she be? I shake that thought out of my head. We chat a bit about things that had happened these few days. The clock shows 2315. I asked them to go back home, as it was already late. Each of them gave me a kiss on my forehead. I felt so warm deep inside my heart for having such a wonderful family. Here I am, along again in this quiet room. I decided to go to sleep.


I heard some voices before I wake up. Then I opened my eyes to see who it is. It was Isaac and Amy. They had come and visit me first thing in the morning before they go to class. Isaac has bought me a teddy bear from Bukit Tinggi. He said that the bear would accompany me when he’s not around. He’s so sweet right. (Don’t be jealous). Amy bought something for me too. It was a charm bracelet. One of the pendants has our picture on it. I gave Amy a hug and told her that I love it very much. She put it on to my hand. Both of them left for class together. I see them walking out of the room together. I feel like going for class with them also but I couldn’t. Dr. Raj is still monitoring me.

Later that evening, Isaac dropped by again. He updated me about the lectures. He said many people had asked where am I. But as he had promised, he didn’t tell them about this. We chatted the whole evening. It was a great evening. He accompanied me until I fell asleep. The next morning when I woke up, I saw a note by my bedside. It was from Isaac. He said that he left after I sleep. He doesn’t want to wake me up from my sleep, and so he left a note for me. He said he’d be back to visit me today after his class. I can’t wait to see him later. I kept the note in the drawer where I placed my family photo.
My family members were there this morning to have breakfast with me. I ordered the same breakfast that I had had last 2 days. I was hoping that the sausage would not taste the same again as what I had tasted 2 mornings ago. Yes, this time the sausage really taste different from that time. It tasted even worse. I pushed the plate aside. My appetite was spoiled by the taste. Mike took a bite from the sausage I had. “Mmm… this sausage taste so nice. My dear sister, please don’t be picky in food. Eat it.” I stared at him, telling him that it’s not funny. The sausage really taste weird. Then my dad tried it. He told me that it was fine too. Huh?? What happen to my taste receptor then? Why when I try it, it tasted so weird but for them it’s normal? I drank the plain water that I’ve ordered. I planned to see Dr. Raj later after they’ve left.


Part 8

I send them to the main entrance of the hospital, waving them goodbye. Then I walked to Dr. Raj’s clinic. He signaled me to take a sit by his desk. I sat down and told him what had happened this morning. He said that this was normal for a brain tumor patient. Sometimes I will smell or taste something that’s abnormal. He said that he would like to do another scanning for me to check on the tumor. I nodded my head. My mind was kind of blur at that time. All the negative symptoms were starting to show out. Does this mean that my sickness is getting worse? Dr. Raj asked me to relax myself. He said that he would inform my parents about it. I nod my head again. Then I leave his room.

I stopped by the maternity ward before I return to my room. I passed by a room with many babies in it. I stand outside the room, looking at the babies. They were so small in size. Some of them were crying, some were sleeping and some were moving around, stretching their tiny little arm. I saw some babies were placed in the incubator. Those babies look so fragile and their body was reddish in color. After a while, I walked back to my room. My life these few days were really boring.

I pushed open my door and saw Isaac reading a book, sitting on the armchair. He put down his book when he saw me. I gave him a kiss on his left cheek.
“How are you today, Moon? Feeling good?”
“Oh yes. And my family came by this morning to have breakfast with me. Have you had your lunch?”
“Well, no. Want to have lunch together?”
“Ok.”
We walked to the cafeteria. I hope this time the food that I order won’t taste weird. We ordered 2 set lunches. During this lunch hour, the cafeteria is usually packed with doctors and nurses. We quickly eat our lunch and left the cafeteria. We walked hand in hand back to the room. I felt really happy because he’s here with me. In the room, I told him what had happened this morning and told him that I will be doing another scanning tomorrow. I told him that he don’t need to come by tomorrow as the scanning will take a very long time and I will need to take a long rest after that. He said all right and that he will accompany me a little longer for today. He looks very worried over me.

Actually, the reason why I asked him not to come over tomorrow was that the report of the scanning will be done few hours after that. I don’t want him to be around when the doctor read out the report. I don’t want him to worry so much. So I have to lie to him. Sorry.

We chat the whole evening that day. This time, Isaac’s turn to fall asleep. I guess he’s just too tired. I pulled my blanket over his shoulder. I sat there on my bed, watching him sleeping like a baby by my bedside. Later, I fell asleep as well.

Next morning when I woke up, the blanket was over me. I saw a set of breakfast on the table next to me and a note on it.

“Good morning. When I was awake, it’s already around 0830. So I went downstairs and bought you a breakfast set before I leave. I guess you will be awake not long after that. I bought another set for myself as well to eat on the way to university. Hope you’ll enjoy the breakfast. Give me a call if you feel bored.
Love, Isaac.”

I kept the note into the drawer again. Then I slowly eat the breakfast. It taste normal this time. Is it because Isaac bought it for me? Or is my receptor is acting normal today? I was just finishing the last bite of the sandwich when the nurse came into my room. She said it’s time for the scan. I threw away the breakfast packaging. Then I put on my sandal and walked to the scanning room with the nurse. Dr. Raj was there, preparing the machine. After the scanning, the nurse walked me back into my room.

I sat in my room until Dr. Raj came in with the report. He said that my parents were on their way to the hospital, and so, we will wait for them. I asked him about his newborn baby daughter. He then showed me a photo of her. She’s so cute. Her eyes were so big and round. I asked him how does he feel when he knows that his baby was born into this world. He said that the feeling was indescribable with words. We chatted for a while until my parents come. He opened the report and cleared his throat. He said that the size of the tumor has increased a little again. He asked me whether I’ve decided about the chemotherapy that he had suggested. I shake my head telling him no. He said that it’s the best for me to receive that therapy as soon as possible. I nodded my head but I didn’t say anything…

Part 9

I know that I must undergo this therapy. But I told them that I would like to have few more days to think about it. My parents insisted that I undergo this therapy but I told them that I would like to make a decision about it. Dr. Raj left 3 of us alone to discuss about this. I can see that my mom looked very restless. My dad on the other hand looks a bit angry over my stubborn attitude. I just sit there and keep quiet. Must I undergo this therapy? How will it be like during this whole process of the therapy? I keep asking myself this question. Can I really recover if I undergo this therapy? I closed my eyes trying to think about it. I ignored my parents who were looking at me. They knew that I am worried and scared too. They said that they’d be back later with my other siblings. They closed the door and here again, leaving the miserable me alone in this room.

Should I call Isaac and Amy to tell them about this? NO. I don’t think that that will be a good idea. I sat there the whole day, thinking about the chemotherapy suggested. I heard that if we undergo this therapy, our immune system will be quite weak after that and our hair will fall. I don’t want to look bald. I wonder whether there’s any other way for me to take besides than this. I had been thinking about this question the whole day and had made a decision in my mind.

At night, my parents and other siblings came and visit me. They brought some soup for me. I felt like it was ages ago when I last drink my mom’s soup. It taste so delicious. My parents asked me whether I’ve made a decision on the therapy or not, I told them yes, but with a condition. I will start the therapy next week, which was only 5 more days to go. And before that, I would like to be discharged from the hospital. I told them that Amy and Isaac don’t know about today’s report. I asked my parents and siblings to keep this report from them, as I’m afraid that it’ll interrupt their mood, as another exam will be coming soon. They agreed.

The next morning, I gave Isaac a call, telling him that I will be discharged from the hospital. He asked me about the report, but I didn’t answer him. I asked him out for dinner. He said he would pick me up at about 1900. I went home after that. I missed my bed so much. I planned to take a long nap before going out with Isaac. I tucked myself in the bed, closing my eyes, trying to clear my mind off everything. Then I fell asleep. This time, I did not dream of anything. Maybe my body was too tired for me to go to the fifth stage of the sleep. (Laugh). I was woken up by the sound of the slamming door downstairs. That must be Lavina. She likes to slam the door when she’s back home. I lies on the bed for a while. Then I looked at the clock. It shows 1800. I quickly get up to prepare myself. I don’t want to make Isaac waiting for me.

I wore a dress and had put on some blusher to make my self look less pale. At sharp 1900, Isaac rang my doorbell. Lavina was downstairs. So she answers the door. She called me from downstairs, so loud that the people from the next two doors could hear her voice. I took my medicines before I leave the house. We went to a fancy restaurant that night. Isaac ordered a main course while I only ordered a piece of tiramisu cake. We chat for a while, and then Isaac asked me again about the report. I know that he’s just concern with me. I told him that the report showed that everything was is normal. I didn’t tell him about my decision to undergo the chemotherapy. Maybe after his exam, I’ll let him know about it. The food we ordered has arrived and we start eating. After finishing up the food, Isaac suggested that we go for a movie.

We went to the cinema and decided to watch a comedy. We lined up for the tickets then for the popcorn. He held me by my hand and we walked in to the theatre. We took our seats and the light was off. I can feel my head aching again. It was just like the one I had when I was on the bus to Bukit Tinggi. I can feel the tears on my cheek. Luckily we’re in the cinema right now. It was dark, so Isaac won’t notice my pain. I pretended to laugh at some part of the movie. I knew it was kind of fake but at least, Isaac won’t suspect anything. After the movie, I asked Isaac to send me back because I’m very tired.

Through out the ride back home, I didn’t talk much. Isaac didn’t ask me why. Maybe he thought that I am too tired to talk much. I gave him a good night kiss and got down from the car. I took out my keys and quickly unlock my house door. I waved him goodbye again and closed the door. I dropped down when I was in the house. My leg felt so weak that I could hardly stand still. Mike who happened to come down to get a glass water quickly rush to me and carried me to my room. Then he poured me a glass of water and asked me to take my medicines. Of course I do as what he said. He was there the whole night watching over me. Making sure that I am doing fine.